In a Box with God

September 7 / March 1

Dear Gary,

Francis de Sales raises the question of what constitutes true devotion. For him it is a way of living. He says we put a personal spin on our understanding of it, often seeing ourselves as devoted to God because we fast or pray or give to the poor. The contradiction comes when after fasting we have hatred in our hearts; after prayer utter hateful words; after acting charitably we refuse to forgive others. “Hence anyone who does not observe all God’s commandments cannot be held to be either good or devout.”

Frank Laubach, at least at this point, doesn’t use the word “devout.” Yet he is no less focused than de Sales. de Sales is committed to reaching “the place where I wholly, with utter honesty, resolved and then re-resolved that I would find God’s will, and I would do that will though every fibre in me said no, and I would win the battle in my thoughts.” He says, “It is a will act. I compel my mind to open straight out toward God. I wait and listen with determined sensitiveness. I fix my attention there, and sometimes it requires a long time early in the morning to attain that mental state.”

For both Laubach and de Sales the way to life with God is a path of “humble obedience. Laubach might say, “I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise.” - Psalm 119:58  

de Sales might reword Proverbs 24:14 to say, “Know also that devotion is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off.” -Proverbs 24:14

Both struggle to know and do the will of God. For me a huge challenge is discerning the presence of God. My wife Margie reminded me of the Johari window, a square divided into quadrants. Each represents our degree of self knowledge/awareness:

1. what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena'
2. what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blindspot'
3. what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know - hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade'
4. what is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others - unknown area or unknown self

Her description left me thinking not so much about my life in general, but about my relationships with certain other people. Which category would my son and I be in, or I and my next door neighbor, or for that matter, my best friend? And in the context of this discussion, in which box do God and I find ourselves? I think it is category number one: what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena.’ My assumption is that while I don’t know everything about God, still God knows everything about me, and I know some things about myself.

That causes our relationship to spill over into category number two: “what is unknown by me about myself but which God knows - blind area, blind self, or ‘blindspot.’ That category is reduced in size whenever I sense God’s guidance. I recently told God there was just too much in my life to be forgiven, and God replied that Jesus forgave Peter for everything. I argued that this was a long time ago. God’s response was that "My forgiveness is always now." It reminded me of the question, “When is eternity?” And the answer was, “It is always the next moment.”

I think the last two categories don’t apply. I can hide nothing from God. There is nothing I don’t know about myself that God doesn’t know. So, do I really sense God’s presence? Here I can relate to Laubach. “I do not claim success even for a day yet, in my mind, not complete success all day but some days are close to success, and every day is tingling with the joy of a glorious discovery. That thing is eternal.”

Pastor Mike