Monday, February 19, 2018

Good Grief



Supporters of some governments seek to suppress grief. Walter Brueggemann[1] points out that it’s an effort to silence passion.  Numbness comes when passion is eradicated, and numbness causes potential critics to sit down and be still.

Scripture gives a vivid example. After her rape by her brother Ammon, Tamar tears her clothing and begins weeping because she has been defiled and her reputation has been destroyed. But her brother Absolom, King David’s older son, minimizes her grief:

“Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went. Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Ammon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.” -2 Samuel 13:29-30 NIV

“Be quiet … don’t take this thing to heart.” The argument can be made that Absolom is dismissive in part because Tamar is a woman, but it is even more tempting for him to treat a woman who is grieving as an object. Absolom eventually puts Ammon to death. But that is an honor killing. Tamar is never restored, never vindicated, even by her father. She is regarded as chattel, used property.

The best of us have only moderate patience with the grief of others. When a loved one dies and friends get the news, sympathy can run its course after a week or so. For those who grieve it can feel quite incredible that they themselves can be in such pain while others go about their business.

And repressive governments and those who support them can be even more indifferent. So it wasn’t surprising when Fox News recently allowed Rush Limbaugh to denigrate students from a Florida high school. They supported a march in memory of their recently slain classmates.

“Minutes after interviewing a group of Parkland, Florida, students organizing marches in response to the mass shooting at their school, “Fox News Sunday” put conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh on the air to dismiss their plans and condemn them for trying to advance a ‘political agenda.’”[2]

For those in power, advancing a political agenda is the sole privilege of those in power.

Why should passion, especially grief, be suppressed? Because grief is connected to death, and repressive governments do not easily entertain the possibility of death. That is, they suppose that their power should be unending. Criticism is an affront to their authority, and loss of authority means loss of power and control. Thus critics are demonized. They become enemies of the state. Which I suppose is fine as long as the critics don’t become too numerous.

Scripture seldom tries to dampen grief. The Psalmist expresses it this way:
“By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.” ( Psalm 137:1) And Paul encourages the early followers of Christ “not to grieve as others do, who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) I think it would not occur to people of faith to disallow grief. Whether it would occur to unbelievers is a different matter.







[1] See Brueggemann, Walter. The Prophetic Imagination.
[2] O'Connor, Lydia.  “Immediately After Interviewing Parkland Students, Fox News Invites Criticism Of Them.” HuffPost•February 18, 2018.



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